The Sixty Dollar Panda

I have a new best friend! After much thought, Joseph and I have decided to name the newest member of our family Sixty the Panda.

The story of how Sixty the Panda came into the Rutchik namesake is a good one. Before I tell it, I thought I would share a few of our most recent family photos.

This is Anna loving Sixty.

This is what Tessa looks like when we talk to her about how she needs to share Sixty with her sister.

Sixty loves story and prayer time before bed.

Sixty loved watching the fireworks as a family this past 4th of July.

Here is the story of how Sixty the Panda became a Rutchik:

Not so recently Joseph's family came to town to spend a Saturday with us. We shoved the mess into our bedroom, cleaned the common areas are prepared for a fun day with family. We took the girls out to eat. After we were done Joseph and his mom would bring the girls home and put them down for their afternoon nap while my SIL and I snuck out to catch an afternoon movie.

To be honest, I had been looking forward to seeing this movie with my SIL for weeks and as we snuck away from the girls and dodged out the door of the restaurant, I had one of those "I'm free!" moments every mama longs for when alone time has been sparse for a bit too long.

The movie was great and SIL bonding was had. But, like most mamas, once I felt that "free" feeling for a half hour - I really missed my kids. I opened the door to my home expecting big hugs from my gals. Instead I was greeted with a little story.

It seems Tessa threw a mega size fit on the way home from the restaurant (why we EVER tell ourselves it will be ok, just this once, to take her somewhere during nap time I will never know). Joseph was holding her hand when she decided to collapse and refuse to walk into our front door. She went down fast. Tessa was on the ground, but her little hand and little arm was still with Daddy. Joseph heard a pop. Tessa was in a lot of pain and so Joseph and his mom decided a trip to the ER was in order.

We literally live next door to the emergency room so off Daddy and Tessa went. Joseph reports that by the time her name was called all the attention of the folks in the waiting room had sucked the pain right out of her arm. She was giving high fives.

She is fine. It seems her little elbow popped out, was popped back in and all was well. Joseph was sent home with some papers with some medical lingo that translates into "take it easy" and a bill for our deductible: $60. Tessa was sent home with high fives and a stuffed Panda. Our Sixty dollar Panda!

Just like most homes with the pidder padder of tiny feet, we have tons of stuffed animals. Most of them collect dust on the shelves and take up my closet space. Sixty the Panda is different. Tessa clutches that Panda like it's her trophy. The second she puts him down he is scooped up by Anna who loves him so hard I worry his little head may just pop off. "Baby!!!" she screams.

Neither of our girls have ever taken to an item as their "comfort" item. There are no blankies or binkies in this house. Oh we tried! Oh did we try. We've tried every trick in the book to get Anna to attach to something in hopes she would learn to use it to comfort herself in the night when she wakes and scream 27 times between the hours of 8pm and 6am. She never had an interest in anything. The closest we came was items of Daddy's "used" clothing. I'm fairly confident there is a sweater he will not get back. I guess they are never too young to start going for your clothes!

But now we have the Sixty dollar Panda! It seems both our daughters have claimed it as their comfort item! This has led to interesting lessons on sharing and some crazy conversations between my husband and I. Who ever though we would be giving thanks for paying $60 for a stuffed animal!? If anyone wants some stuffed animals, I would consider offering to pay $60 for them to be removed from my home! But, this Panda is magic. We're talking Buzz Lightyear and Woody magic over here.

So, the question at hand - how long before we can take one of the girls back into the ER to get another one of these things? I mean, we are by no means wishing ANY ill will on our girls. Believe me, we've had enough of that over here. Most of Joseph's medical care (sniffles, cuts ..) is done in the ER because even when something little happens he needs immediate attention. I'd even be willing to fake a little something and go in, but I don't think they give Pandas to parents. We also don't want to take anyone in too soon, least we get a call from social services wondering why our kids are in the ER so much. I'd end up on some news program as one of those moms who makes their kids sick for attention. Really all I want is another Panda. We need it, we really do. I'll pay the $60!!

Daybook - Week of March 1, 2010

Daybook – Week of March, 1 2010

Outside My Window ...
Spring is teasing me and I love it. There was so much sunshine today and it was glorious. I tend to entertain dreams every February of a move to a state that doesn’t have winter 6 months of the year, but I know I’ll be here forever. I’m a Wisconsin gal, snow and all.
***

I am listening to...
Anna fussing in the crib and the middle-aged-never been married- children scare me- I can’t understand why your baby cries so much so I yell at her through the floor- guy upstairs is making noise. I don’t mind so much, but it is midnight and I hope he knows if he wakes her up, he pays as much as we do…..
***

To Live the Liturgy…
We all missed mass this weekend due to what we are calling the “death flu.” It was by far the worse flu we have ever had and we all had it at the same time. Needless to say, our bodies and souls are hungry for the parish mission this week and I think by tomorrow we will be well enough to go. I’m hoping to get to a healing mass or at least have Joseph prayed for. It always give me comfort.
***

To be Fit and Happy….
I’m not feeling to fit or too happy this week and I know it is because the flu knocked us out, the house is now a mess and I haven’t worked out in a week. I’m hoping to get back to the gym and in the pool in the morning. I'm also thinking about signing up for water aerobics.
***

I am thankful for ...
The end of the flu! I can’t believe it was so bad and now I must tackle the very unpleasant laundry pile it left behind.
***

From the kitchen ...
Our SAMS CLUB membership ran out and we decided not to renew so we stocked up on lots of goodies for the freezer. Tonight we defrosted a few pounds of lean ground turkey. We made turkey burgers and browned the rest of it up for a supper time skillet for tomorrow’s dinner. It feels so nice to have a fridge full of meals and to not be stressed about what to make for the next few nights.

**For our turkey burgers we got these new “buns” called “sandwich thins”. Not only are they 100 percent whole wheat and only 100 calories, but they are delicious and I had to pass along the great find! **
***

I am wearing ...
Sweats. I haven’t gotten ‘dressed” in 3 days and am really looking forward to leaving the house tomorrow and wearing real clothes!
***

I am creating ...
I’m pretty bummed out in the creative front today. There were a few calls out I had been working on submissions for and done some great research and writing on, but I wasn’t able to submit this weekend as planned due to how sick we all were. To say I’m bummed is an understatement. But, such is life. I did sell another essay and just sent my hubby out to mail the publishing agreement this evening! I’m also working on a very interesting story about a truly inspirational man. So, there is some good news to report on the creative front.
***

Towards a real education ...
I’m feeling a shift in stages for all four of us over here and have been doing some reading and research on the next step in our educational needs. For Tessa this will involve letters and a move into longer and more complex books. The rest of us I’m still working on.
***

Bringing beauty to my home ...
I’m not going to lie, it’s bad news bears over here. This place is a mess. I’m not talking about things needing to be tidied up a bit, I’m talking about an overhaul. But, it can’t stay this way for two long, Joseph’s family is coming in about 10 days and it’s a good thing, I need the motivation.
***

I am reading ...
I just finished Susan Wigg’s Just Breathe. It was ok enough, a perfect chic lit entertainment book. I like to have a ‘beach book” and an educational, spiritual or more challenging book going at the same time. I’m ready for 2 new ones so suggestions are welcome!
**

I am hoping and praying….
Well, here it is – the reason I have neglected this blog for 2 weeks. Last week we took the gals to Children’s Hospital (where I’m sure we caught this flu) for genetic tests. Joseph had genetic tests a few weeks back and it was discovered that he does not have Marfans as we previously thought. Rather, he has Loeys Dietz syndrome. We were (and still are) very disappointed. It’s similar in that they are both connective tissue disorders, but Loeys Dietz seems to be more aggressive and over all, not so great. The good news is that we have a diagnosis and can now test the girls and know once and for all what we are dealing with and how to monitor and treat it. However, actually knowing if one or both of our children have it changes things for us (and for them) in a big way. We should find out within the next week.

I’m also praying for some close family friends who are ready and waiting to welcome their fourth child any moment now. They’ve been planning on “any moment now” for about 3 weeks, so I’m really praying the waiting is over as I type this! This weekend, before the flu hit, we were treated to a fish fry evening by these friends. It was so fun to see them one last time before they welcome their baby!

***

Around the house ...
I’m thinking of some fun ways to spruce up my writing place and hoping to blog about it – stay tuned!
***

One of my favorite things ...
The gals seem to have created their own language. Ok, I know that can’t really be possible, but they are able to communicate with each other in a way Joseph and I cannot understand. Anna speaks in gibberish with the same inflection and using the same syllables and Tessa answers her. It’s very cute to see their love for each other develop. It’s also been making me sad for the absence of our third child, Emanuel Elizabeth.
***

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
We’ll play catch up for a few days. The main goal of the week is to restore order around here! ***

Picture Thoughts
Although it’s been a stressful week, we were blessed by good friends this week! On our way home from the genetic testing this week we were able to stop by our closest family friend/God family’s home. My friend Krissy had prepared a tea party for the little ones complete with rice crispy treats in the shape of scones! The adults were also able to have some snacks and share some time together.

How Soon We Return

Look who sat in a chair today! He even got a heart pillow as his prize for making it through!

The past few weeks I have been able to think of nothing else. Conversations in my head went something like this:

“Anna has been up all night screaming every night this week. She is 7 months old, we really need to nip this thing in the bud….”

“Who cares, Joseph has to have heart surgery.”

Ok, so that is a an understandable response for the wife of a man facing a really scary heart procedure. But……

then it spiraled into:

“We have to go to the store because we are out of diapers.”

“Who cares, can’t think about that right now, Joseph has to be have heart surgery! Who knows if he will even be here to change diapers ever again! I can’t do this by myself, Oh my God, I will die, I will die……….I’ll go broke…..and crazy…….and I’ll have to move home with my parents……and my kids will hate me because I will cry through their whole lives……and I can’t lead their souls without Joseph…………..so they will end up getting paid to do things a lady doesn’t do…………”

Ok, so things got a wee bit out of control. In my defense, I have an amazing husband! He is truly, truly my best friend. We were even best friends before we stated dating. He changes diapers, gets up in the night to feed babies, cleans the bathrooms, and is a silently holy husband and father. So, yes, I was upset about the prospect of losing him, of the girls losing him.

Praise the Lord, his surgery went well and as of now, he is looking really good. We have a long road ahead of us in many, many ways. Your prayers are still humbly requested as this is only the first step for him and his health.

But, to me, for a while, this was the only step I could see, and it ended with a call from a surgeon in an operating room. That much I knew. I feel so very blessed by the outcome of that phone call. And then, about an hour after I was able to see him, as rough of shape as he was in, I started to think about everything else that needed to be done for life that I had let fall to the weigh side.

I’m now trying to play catch up; be by Joseph’s side, help with the girls, work, and budget for all these wonderful medical expenses. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from complaining here. I’m just realizing what I have done to myself.

So, before I go to sleep tonight (after I pay the bills and get some work done) I thought I would reflect again on Joy. The importance of finding Joy in the everyday aspects of life and taking that Joy and turning it into prayer has been really important to me over the last few months. I now see God was preparing me for the road ahead. He has taught my heart about Joy. He has taught me how to recognize Him, and all of His gifts, through Joy. In these everyday things I see grace, mercy and unconditional love. So, although yes, there is a lot on our plate here in the Rutchik home, I really just want to share our Joy, to be a witness through this gift.

In efforts to keep the Spirit of Joy alive and strong in my heart, I will share some of the Joys I have had through what have been a few of the most difficult days of my life:

My mom came to take care of my children. She pretty much canceled her life and came to pick up the pieces of mine.

My friends and family have been lining up to show me the face of Christ. The offers for assistance in any form have been pouring in and we really, truly appreciate every one of them.

My friend Krissy came to sit with me at the hospital while I waited. She did so with 2 kids at home and one in her arms. I know it was a sacrifice and she never once mentioned all the juggling she had to do to make it happen.

The medical professionals. I so appreciate their gifts, as they are so different then my own and so amaze me.

Prayer. We’ve been told by many people that our situation gave them something to pray for in a time when they felt they had fallen away from prayer. We have even been able to spend some good time in prayer with our friends. We have spent great time in prayer together.

My husband, who’s last words as they put the mask on him in the OR were, “Tell my wife I love her.” Seriously, with this man! He is romantic even in the scariest moment!

My marriage. I am so thankful for our marriage. When we face things like this I’m reminded how very strong and Christ centered our marriage is and I thank God for giving us the life situations that call us to this type of marriage.

The world. We have met and been blessed with such good people. In my mail box today we received two anonymous gifts of large sums of money. The sacrifice and dedication to the call of charitable giving in the hearts of these friends gives me hope for humanity. Who has money to spare in these times? No matter who these people are, they sacrificed because they anticipated the needs of others. How beautiful. It really touched my heart. We are all called to charitable giving in some way. It may or may not be in a financial way, but we have all been given gifts to share with one another. I thank these people for sharing with us their blessings, we will in turn pray for them. In the spirit of respecting their call to charitable giving, I won’t go asking around as to who would do such a thing and wouldn’t even know where to start.

My lovely, lovely ladies. Their faces so bright! They are my little pieces of Joy!!

And, now, my youngest little Joy is crying in the night, so off I go to enjoy some late night time with her!!

…how soon we return…..but we thank God for it!

The Mobile

There is this mobile. It dances down from its ceiling perch; casting the moon, setting the sun, shooting a star. It isn’t that special of a mobile. Its paint has dulled, its body the result of a cookie cutter cut-out. Individual, it is not. The same mobile hangs in every room here, its present constant, what happens beneath it - is not. Its valiant effort of cheer is a feeble, but an esteemed, attempt.

Beneath many versions of this same mobile - I have cried and rejoiced. On this day, it floats above us, so peacefully in unison with the lullaby singing my baby to sleep. As she drifts in one arm, my hand rests safely in the grasp of my husband’s. We quietly rock, and our breaths fall into sink with one another. I’m thankful for the chain of comfort we’ve created here, between the three of us. Like the mobile, we are separates parts; thriving on the thread that links us, moving together as one.

For the mothers whose eyes have looked upon this mobile through tears, and for the babies who’ve cried as it cast its shadows over the walls… tonight, I offer my prayerful heart.