Friday, February 11, 2011

On the Day I Peed My Pants at Perkins.

Yes, you read that correctly. Today will always be known as the day I peed my pants, badly, in public.

Earlier this week I saw the perinatologist and although everything is wonderful, my blood pressure is being a bit wonky and he upped my meds, again. My medication had just been increased two weeks ago, but my body didn’t seem to be responding.

It was actually my favorite appointment of this pregnancy as I had an ultrasound and was able to bring Tessa along to share in the growing excitement of the newest little girl joining our family. Tessa did such an amazing job sitting still and was a very willing participant in my exam. Her loving and intuitive nature took over and she reached out for my hand, leaned over to give me kisses and rubbed my legs and belly as the ultrasound was taking place. It was an amazing moment in motherhood for me. I was witnessing the kicks and hiccups of my youngest child growing strong within me as I witnessed my oldest daughter’s gifts bloom alongside our family. It was one of my favorite days of all time.

I have been sleeping a lot this week and chalked it up to the third trimmest getting the best of me. Nothing to complain about – I have an amazing husband who truly enjoys spending time with his children and allowing mama to rest. This morning I was up early and since we needed to run a lot of errands I asked Joseph if we could take the family out for pancakes. He agreed so we all got dressed, I took my medication and out the door we went.

The second the meal I’d been craving for a week was placed in front of me I knew there was something wrong. I had no interest in the omelet that has actually made appearances in my dreams over the last week. I became dizzy, starting seeing spots and knew I was going to be sick. As I stood up to make my way to the bathroom a strange feeling came over me and I understood I had no control over my own body. I’ve been sick before, but never felt an imposter in my own skin. And then it happened. On my way to the bathroom I peed my pants. I’m not talking the “little something when I laugh some moms get after having a baby or two” type of accident. I’m talking full on “Kindergarten teacher calls your parents to bring you new clothes” type of deal.

I made it to the bathroom where I became sick and realized I was shivering and the coldest I have ever been in my entire life. I knew there was something wrong.

A visit to my doctor confirmed that the medication had dropped my blood pressure way too low way too fast. I was admitted to the hospital and spent the afternoon in the hospital getting some fluids and some drugs to bring my blood pressure back up.

I am home and feeling fine, although I can’t shake the extreme cold feeling. When I was released from the hospital my blood pressure was back up to 113/65 which is still extremely low for me, but a lot better than it was earlier in the day.

It’s only been 12 hours and I am already laughing hysterically at myself – filing this day right at the top of my long list of embarrassing Holly moments right up there with breaking my leg on the dance floor at my own wedding.

I really would do anything for these little girls. There is nothing in the world that can compare to watching Tessa want to care for me as I lie on a bed and get an ultrasound, or hear Anna ask me to lift my shirt so she can give the baby a kiss. There is a sweat baby girl growing strong in “mama’s belly” who had a hard day alongside her mama, feeling lethargic because that is how mama was feeling, but who remembered to kick once the IVs were going to remind me she was starting to feel better as well.

Motherhood is hard. It’s hard because it’s amazing. I’ll do anything for the joys motherhood brings me, even if it means standing in a crowded restaurant as I pee my pants.

Baby "L" (Which may or may not be a little hint at her name!)


Krissy A. said...

Holy cow! What a day! I hope you're feeling much better...I can't believe that all happened to you. Praise the LORD that you ended up being with Joseph instead of home alone with the kids. Well, the hint made me think that I have it. For real this time. And only one guess. But I'm going to tell it to Pete, and then wait with the rest of the world. haha Let's talk for real sometime soon--MISS YOU!

Lisa G. said...

That is so scary!!! The only time I felt that imposter feeling was during labor with my son. What a crazy day! I do not envy you in the slightest. It would take my pride quite a while to recover from something like that!

And "breaking my leg on the dance floor at my own wedding" - seriously??? I'm going to have to look in your archive to see that story!! That's crazy!!!

Second Chances said...

Oh my goodness! Although I was laughing as I clicked on your post, my laughter quickly turned into true concern. What happened to you was so scary! I've never had that "loss of body" feeling, other than not feeling my legs during Dominic's section. But the whole body? Freaky! I'm so glad you're ok, and the only real damage was to your self esteem! And yes, please tell us the story of breaking your leg at your awful!

Maggie said...

I had major issues with my blood pressure right before my son was born, so I feel your pain! I'm glad you are OK! At least you have one heck of a story to tell your baby someday! And yes, I want to hear the breaking leg story, too!

Katie said...

Wow - how fortunate that you didn't pass out and end up peeing your pants and hitting your head and bleeding all over Perkins! Only motherhood can make a woman laugh over peeing herself. Such a small sacrifice for a big blessing. (And for some reason it reminds me of the car we both drove at one point - that had windows that wouldn't go down and AC that wouldn't work - very humbling at the drive-thru...)

Jenny said...

Whoa! Thankful all things seem to be getting better adjusted. I said a prayer to ST Gerard for you. I'm a new follower from Catholic Mothers Online. Please stop by and return the favor.