Monday, August 31, 2009

For All The Writers Out There....

For All The Writers Out There….

We moved. It was long, hot, difficult, and a turning point for our family. I’ll be sharing the good and bad of it all in an upcoming post. But I am so baffled by the irony of life right now I had to share.

Along with moving comes many more things on the to do list. I’m aware of this and for the most part, ok with it. I’ve spent the last few days making phone calls, changing our address, getting recommendations for doctors and stocking up on groceries and all the new things one needs in a new place. I also have a job, a hubby in transition and recovery and oh yeah, 2 kids under 2.

So, why oh why has the inspiration bug hit me now? Here, at midnight when I should be sleeping, or unpacking, or working or paying the bills – when I have to get up in the morning and try to catch up on life?

So I’m up writing. I’m pleased with what is coming to me, but sometimes wish I could choose the day and the time.

I ask my fellow writers out there if this happens to you as well? If so, please share (and explain!)

Photo credit: photoscom

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Love and Marriage

For the sake of protecting the innocent, names have been changed in the following actual conversation:

Molly: “Hey babe, why are we going this way, I thought we were going to Target?”

BOseph: “Yeah, I thought you meant this Target, up here.”

Molly: “Ok, but the other Target is new, way closer and I told you I like the ice in the Coke better there.”

BOseph: “Oh, yeah, ok, sorry, it must have been a miscommunication.”

Molly: “Yeah, I know, that seems to be our M.O. lately.”

BOseph: “No, not really.”

Molly: “Haha! See.”

BOseph: “Wait, what?”

Molly: “Nothing.”

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thanks for Calling!

Thanks for Calling

My daughter is 21 months old now and is developing a particular attachment to all the “tools” I use in my day-to-day life. It’s interesting to see how her little eyes perceive what things define a person. My keys, shoes, purse and sunglasses spend more time donning her little mop-top self than my own.

I’m somewhat ashamed to confess this next little slice of our life. She thinks my phone is actually called a “Holly” and not a “Phone.” I gather this comes from the fact that I work from home and during business hours am answering the phone, “Hello, this is Holly.” Either way, she picks it up and carries it around, calling it her “Holly.” When the phone rings, her eyes light up, her mouth falls open and she starts running in circles with excitement screaming, “Holly, Holly, Holly!!!” I’ve tried replacing my phone with her Elmo phone, but after one or two conversations with Elmo, she’s back to wanting the real deal.

In some ways, it’s flattering to see her put on my sunglasses, my shoes and pick up the keys while she’s tossing the diaper bag across her body and saying, “Ok, bye bye, see you.” She always does so with a smile and then puckers up for a goodbye kiss. I’m not sure if I should be proud of the fact I must always leave the house with a kiss and hug, or if I should feel shame over appearing so very happy while I am LEAVING my home!

Like so many things do, witnessing this everyday bring me to a spiritual reflection. Is this how I appear in the eyes of God? Trying so very hard to impress him with my faith and knowledge as I stumble around, trying my very best to imitate the example He gave me as the perfect mother: Mary?

The thought that the amusement I get from the sight of my daughter doing these things could be similar to how God views my attempts at faith, piety and prayer makes me blush. It also humbles me, and warms my heart. Child-like joy in beautiful. I guess it isn’t so bad to entertain the possibility I could still possess it.

However I look in the eyes of God, I will continue to “put on” Christ, because that is what I believe He calls me to do. The way in which I so seriously do it may be a bit off the mark, but just like my daughter, I will do it with the best of intentions – and a smile.

I must always answer the call. Oftentimes, it’s Elmo, but sometimes, it’s God.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Help Please!

So when I log onto my blog to read blogs it says, "you are not currently following any blogs."

Ummmm...yes I am! Where did they all go and how do I get them back? When I go to someone's blog I know I follow, I can still find myself in their list of followers - so what gives?

However, my pictures does not show up on other people's "followers" list--what gives with that?

Oh, technology...:)

I would love some help please.

Sorry to waste a post on this, but if you are reading this, your blog list is working, so I don't feel too badly for you!!:)


Monday, August 10, 2009

The Winds of Change

The Winds of Change

The summer has been long and trying. We were heartbroken (no pun intended) when we found out about Joseph’s health and put all our big life plans for graduate degrees and moving vans on hold.

And here we are, once again planning our move. Joseph has been given the clearance from his doctors to move and resume his graduate studies. In all actuality, God’ timing has been wonderful. Joseph will be able to continue working toward his dream while also preparing to become an even better provider for our family. He’ll be able to do all of this while he is healing. Perfect timing, as working full time during these recovery months would be very taxing on him. Things have come full circle for us, as they often do.

The foundation of our relationship was build while Joseph was first attending graduate school. For this reason, I feel as young as I did then, before health crisis and financial woes of having a family were even on my radar. Instead, I’m so hopeful. We are now living in a constant state of possibility! Overall – it’s so very refreshing!

We’ve found the place we will call home in the very near future. It’s a cute little condo/townhome featuring the same amount of square footage we currently have, but with some modest and exciting upgrades from our current family dwelling. Some if these include; a private front door and stoop, an open kitchen facing out into the living area, a garage, a shower in the second bathroom, and my personal favorite - a washer and dryer!! Praise the Lord! We’ll sign the papers this coming Friday and move in on the 28th!

Excitement fills my days and visions of new decorating schemes dance, dance, dance in my head. However, I have a few reality checks to consider before I pack my first box. We have three weekends until we move and they are all booked up. Two of these weekends are out of town weddings for which Joseph has been hired as the videographer, great for our very little family business, bad timing for me. I also have my ten-year high school reunion (yikes!) I would really like to attend. This may have to go, sad as it makes me. It’s just too far away. I also have two deadlines for work and let’s not forget there is a family of four to pack up and I am currently the only able bodied person among us. It all feels a bit overwhelming, but in such a great way. I know I can make it through this and am happy to be doing so. If the month of July, with all the ups and downs it brought with the health of my family taught me anything, it is that I truly am stronger than I knew! I am so thankful for this gift.

And now it’s time to move onto other winds, those of my call. It goes without saying my first call is to motherhood. It is my vocation, and I accept it with thanksgiving and gratitude. However, it has been a very big year for me and my writing. Looking back, I think it was through my true vocation of motherhood I found my call to writing to be stronger than I’d anticipated. After I had Tessa Joseph took a second job to pay off some debt and start this family off on the right foot. We were gifted with a second car from some wonderful and charitable friends and off he went two nights a week to work. While Tessa slept and my husband worked, I wrote. I wrote because I finally wasn’t afraid to. Becoming a mother did that for me.

Shortly after I became pregnant again and once Anna arrived we went into survival mode for a long while. Having a fussy, screaming and ant-sleeping baby will do that to a gal. Even in all of this, I wrote. I wrote because I couldn’t NOT write. I also really started to pray about writing.

I’ve been still and listened, and I’ve received the message loud and clear. I’m to actively pursue this. I AM actively pursuing this writing thing. It’s scary and exciting and wonderful and stressful and….I love it. And now that I’ve said it, it’s real and I am accountable for my dreams and my gifts.

The winds of change are alive and well over here in the Rutchik home, and something tells me these winds of change are those of the Spirit.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Make Over!

Well, I feel the need for a makeover!

Ok, so I'm not talking about a shopping spree or a new hair cut. Although, I do feel as it I "deserve" a nice pedicure(something I LOVE but gave up when I stopped working full time and had kids.)

But, then I recall how we don't really deserve anything in life, and how I should count my blessings and not the calluses on my feet.

Nope, I'm talking about a BIG LIFE makeover. I've been praying and writing about many, many things and think I have come to some big conclusions.

I'm not yet ready to reveal, but I thought when I do - a blog makeover will be in order as well. I love my little blog, modest as it is, but it reflects what I feel is a bit of my darker, more reflective side.

The picture at the top is one I took on Chamber's Island in Door County, WI. It is a shot of a staircase outside of Holy Name Retreat House. I love Door County and truly believe the Spirit is alive and well at Holy Name Retreat House. However, lately, the picture has been bothering me. I have many, many friends who have been as blessed as I to have spent time on the Island and none of their pictures reflect the same moods as mine. With such a beautiful place comes vibrant colors and life, something I choose not to depict in my photo. I believe this is somewhat reflective of my state of mind at times.

I enjoy my reflective and often somewhat dark side. I believe God has made me this way for a reason, and I view my melancholic temperament as a gift. However, we have been through so very much over here in the Rutchik home this summer. There has been nothing but worry, reflection and all around seriousness and I think it's high time I brought out the happy, bubbly Holly I try to portray to the world.

Big changes are also coming for our family and as soon as my lovely hubby pulls the figurative trigger and makes a decision and tells me it is 100 percent, I'm in! Growing wearing of me saying this?--me too! I invite you to have a little chat with the love of my life.

So, I anticipate the lifting of the reflective clouds over here and am excited to spend some time in child-like joy. I'm also looking forward to having my blog reflect this and to learning a bit more about how to use all the features.

Some things I don't know how to do--in case you feel like helping:

Linking to another blog. I know how to incert a website, but not how to change it so it says the name of that blog, book or person.

Subscribing to a feed. I can only follow blogs if they have the little "follow" button, otherwise, I don't understand how to do it. I hear talk of people's "readers" and wonder what in the world you all are talking about.

Until then, I hold you all close in my heart and my prayers.