Are You a "Santa Family?"

We’re a “Santa” family. I understand the reasons behind some families choice to keep Santa out of their Christmas celebrations, but for us, it’s important to include him.

There is beauty in the “magic” of Santa. In the innocence in the heart of a child that can believe a man can make it around the world in just one night, solely to bless the lives of children everywhere. The story is appreciated and loved because of its wonder, sans the syndical and bitter questioning that sneaks its way into our hearts with age.

We use the Santa story to teach our children about the unconditional love that can be found in a gift that is given out of love, not earned like a sticker on a responsibility chart. Once a year, for just a few years, they will wake with the type of anticipation that only lives within a child. They’ll know that awaiting them under the Christmas tree decorated with holy cards will be humble presents, right next to the manger that’s present all through Advent. The gifts won’t be there because they have earned them or they deserve them, just because they are loved - similar to the baby Jesus who will be placed in the manger that sits under that Christmas tree.

Accepting unconditional love and unearned reward may be difficult later in their lives depending on their temperament. The “Santa years” are great practice for them to accept that they are loved just because. They are loved by us, by each other and ultimately, by Christ. They did nothing to earn this love, can do nothing to lose the love and need only accept it – like a gift on Christmas morning.

There is no “naughty” or “nice” list and Santa works in his workshop year-round making toys for boys and girls because St. Nicholas inspired him to be loving and kind to children out of the goodness of his heart.

There is no danger of our children learning one day about Santa and drawing a parallel to Christ -  thus dismissing the resurrection as a fable, myth or moral story. We talk about Santa from December 7th to December 25th every year. We talk about the baby Jesus everyday.

My biggest concern that comes along with being a “Santa family” is not a spiritual one. We’ve got three daughters in this home. Teaching them to sit on an old man’s lap, tell him their secret desires and then take candy from him doesn't really coincide with what we generally teach our daughters about strange, odd looking older men! Then, on Christmas Eve, we’ll celebrate Jesus’ birthday and while we are sleeping he’ll sneak into our home and we’ll leave him a snack? It is rather amusing when you think about the details.

Seems my girls feel the same way, judging from the Santa pictures we’ve taken the past few years.

A blessed feast of St. Nicholas! May his goodness and generosity inspire our Advent and Christmas season in whatever way is best for our families.

Gold chocolate coins, an ornament to celebrate the year in the life of our family and a new book of stories of the Saints have appeared on our fireplace! 3 little gals are going to be so blessed by St. Nicholas' visit in the morning.

Take Cover! Christmas Bells are Ringin’

The only people who think about Christmas in October are St. Nicholas, people who work in retail and sprinkle Halloween in one aisle and Christmas in the next and, of course, moms.

Although fall is by far my favorite season, a tiny bit of my autumn joy has been stolen since I got married and had kids. My fall to-do list has multiplied since becoming a mom. “Check out new fall TV line-ups” has now been replaced with less “fun” chores.

These tasks are dreaded all year by most moms I know. They include:

The “whose family are we going to for what holiday so everyone we’re related to can be happy and we can be miserable” traditional seasonal fight with your husband:

To be fair, we’ve got the cutest daughters in the world. Unfortunately, they are the only grandchildren in both mine and my husband’s family. So, we’re in high demand. And, of course, by ‘we’ I clearly mean the children. It’s very common for my husband and I to stay up all night packing everything we own so we can crisscross the state through a snow storm in the middle of the night with screaming children. We do this only to arrive at our destination and have our children snatched from our hands and swooned over while we collapse onto the couch without so much as a hello. Once we’re acknowledged it is with a well-meaning “You look awful. You really need to take better care of yourselves. You should get more rest.”

All this is done, of course, so that we can spend the night (if five hours counts as a night), wake up to share a meal with said family and then pack it all up, stuff it back into the mini-van and head out to a dinner hosted by the other side of the family—four hours away.

I have a friend who, in negotiations with her husband, traded every single major holiday of the year just so that Christmas could be spent in her hometown and she and her husband would never have to have this fight again. She should take that poker face to Vegas. I would’ve folded.

In order to please everyone and ensure you’ll still be married by Christmas, negotiations really need to start in the fall. Recently, our discussions on the matter took an interesting turn as we found we were each advocating for the other’s family to ‘get us.”

Shopping:

If there is ever a test of faith, it’s preparing for Christ’s birth in your heart while trying to find a parking spot at the mall. This is done to the soundtrack of car horns honking and people swearing at each other. Once in the mall, you can’t make a purchase without giving out your e-mail, phone number and zip code to the sales person, so you can be harassed and reminded of this experience all year long with ill-timed phone calls.

And there’s always those super uplifting human interest stories about humanity at its finest on TV. The one where people are willing to stampede each other for a $40 toy. Let’s not forget our favorite holiday dance: stretching that family budget to include buying gifts for people because they bought one for you/your kid last year and you were mortified they were not on your list and you were empty-handed.

The Christmas Card Picture:

Please tell me I’m not the only mother who turns into an insane beast of a woman when it comes time to take the photo for the family Christmas card. If I had to pick the worst four hours of my year, it would be taking the Christmas card picture. And, yes, it does take four hours. It is also the hardest workout I do all year, and for what? To capture the fact that my kids refuse to smile for a picture, someone is shoving their finger up their nose, the baby is crying and my make-up is dripping down my face with beads of sweat?

Between takes I scream, “Everyone shut their mouths, stop crying and smile or I’m canceling Christmas!” All of this just so we look like a big happy family in the photo card that has “Christmas blessings” scrolled across it. Last year, I attempted running this marathon while pregnant, and the whole thing actually put me into contractions. We’d already received cards form more successful friends who got their cards out the first week of December. Card after card made me wonder if all of our friends’ children had become catalog models or the face of dental offices.

If you look closely at our card from last year you can see me digging my fingernails into my husband’s leg because we were going on photo shoot hour three, and I was realizing that our photo wasn’t going to have the same fate as every other family we’d ever met. I was going off the edge. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a nervous breakdown over a photo card.

Enjoy the Season

This year I’m putting this on my list. Amid all of the stresses the holiday season brings to motherhood, our Church gifts us with the season of Advent. When everything around us defines Christmas by slapping a manufacturer’s label and price tag on it, our liturgical year builds in time for us to prepare our hearts for the real gift of Christmas, Jesus. We’re asked to quite our hearts and our mouths and prayerfully reflect on what this gift means to us.

We’ve decided that this year, no one is going to “get us” for Christmas Eve. You don’t have to travel to meet Baby Jesus. We’ll celebrate in our home and invite others to join us here. They can drive.

We’re not above bribes. We’ll use the kids to lure our families to our side of the state. We won’t tell them they’ll be sleeping on pink and purple twin sized beds in little girl rooms. They’ll also have to get up in the middle of the night to go out in the cold and create reindeer tracks in the snow to enhance the Christmas morning experience for our daughters.

Our daughters will receive three gifts from us. Because if it’s good enough for the baby Jesus, it’s good enough for us.

As for the Christmas card, maybe if I attempt to do a funny ‘out takes” type card we’ll finally get that Norman Rockwell family Christmas photo. It is baby Jesus’ birthday. If our Blessed Mother can ride a camel across her country while nine months pregnant, I think I can pack my kids into a mini-van and drive across the state to see family over the holiday season. I believe in Christmas miracles.

Now Thanksgiving, that’s another story. We’re still trying to work that one out……

Daybook – New Year 2011 Edition

*and an update on baby Rutchik*

Outside My Window ...

It rained and all the snow melted, but it is oh so cold! On the plus side, our dead van has been towed into our garage. Does anyone know what to do with a dead van? We don’t want to put the money into fixing it, but it is a hard call as the week before it broke we put a lot of money into it. Grr.

***

I am listening to...

Nothing. The gals are sleeping. Joseph is working and I am “working” and enjoying some alone time on the computer.

***
To Live the Liturgy…

I am really feeling the lack of community I once found at Church. We have not officially joined a parish here. This is due in part to the fact that we are almost sure this is a temporary place for us. Once Joseph is done with school, we could move (again) anytime. Such is the economy! Before I get comments on the importance of joining a parish, I get it. I do. We are introverts and it takes a lot of work for us to build a community. I just don’t see the point when we don’t know where we will go to Church a year from now. But, I am hoping our next location will be permanent. We are leaning towards Catholic schools for our girls and I can’t wait for the community that will bring!

***

To be Fit and Happy….

Oh boy! I gained 5lbs the week of Christmas! I hadn’t gained any weight in the first half of this pregnancy, but I am making up for it now! I have never felt well enough to get the pregnancy hunger women talk about. I thought it was a myth. It is not, I assure you dear reader!

***

I am thankful for ...

A dear friend, and our two husbands who took the children last week so we could have a mama/work date at Panera. I am blessed with so many faithful women as friends. However, this friend is the only other writer/mama friend I have who truly feels her family is her first vocation AND feels called to a career in addition to her vocation. This has been a great blessing to me. She is a speaker and writer who recently revamped her blog, Women at the Inkwell. Go check out her New Year’s reflections. I promise you, if you’re a mama you will not be disappointed!

***
From the kitchen ...

I’m trying to get better about cutting our grocery bill. I’m too ashamed to even share what it has been these past few months. I know it is due to fast runs here and there, and laziness. So, for the first time ever I have planned our meals for the week!

Sunday: Salad and hot sandwiches for the Packer game
Monday: Breakfast for supper – pancakes, eggs and sausages
Tuesday: Roasted Turkey, potatoes, carrots
Wednesday: Turkey and wild rice soup, salad, rolls
Thursday: leftovers
Friday: Turkey burgers, Mac and cheese, apples
Saturday: Pizza

***

I am creating ...

Writing goals for the new year. I am currently only working on one assignment, but there are a few calls out with deadlines in the next month. The above friend and I are also working on a non-fiction book for mama’s.

***
I am reading….

I have continued my tradition of reading a classic over the Christmas break. I love classics and find myself more and more disappointed with my education in literature as I unlock these treasures I missed as a child! This year’s book is no disappointment! I am currently savoring the last chapter of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. Where have I been? This book is amazing, and really messed up. Perfect for me!

***
Towards a real education ...

Continuing with our “book nerd” theme of life over here!

I made a special request for Christmas that the gift of toys be limited. The gals ended up loving the toys they got and, my dad did a wonderful job shopping for the gals off the list of children’s classics I gave him. Needless to say, we have been reading so many good books for little minds.
For myself, I have been putting a favorite childhood series on my Christmas list each year. Last year I received Anne of Green Gables and this year’s treasure was the complete Little House on the Prairie books.

Although I don’t feel the call to homeschooling, I strongly believe in education in the home and can’t wait to share these books (and some geeky activities to go with them) with my girls.

***

Bringing beauty to my home ...

Structure, calm voices and enough alone time for all so we can accomplish these things.

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I am hoping and praying….

That as Joseph finishes up his thesis everything falls into place. Timing is big here as a baby is coming and this mama is done living in this state. I’m ready for stability. Finishing Joseph’s master’s degree was the right decision for our family, but I am praying the new year allows us to reap the benefits sooner in the year than later.

***

Around the house ...

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Our tree died while we were away, so Christmas is all put away around here. It feels good.

***

One of my favorite things ...

The kicks I’m feeling from the baby. This one is a shy baby, but there is really nothing like feeling them kick.

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A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Lots of work around the home and my job this week.

***

New Year’s Resolution/Word of the Year

I tend to keep my resolutions private. However, I am proud to say I met all of my writing goals for 2010! I am still working on praying about what they will be for 2011. The problem I am coming across is that for them to really grow beyond where I currently am, I am going to need time away every week to work. Joseph and I are talking about the possibility of getting a college girl once a week to come stay with the girls so I can go out and work. We’ll see what prayer and discernment bring. I also need to remember we will (God willing) be adding an infant to our home this year.

***

Baby Rutchik

Well, if by chance you are not on FB (find me if you are), we are expecting baby girl number 3 over here! I just knew it! We could not have avoided finding out if we wanted to. The first image that came up when she began the ultrasound was the “money shot.”

“And that is a baby girl!” I said before she even looked.

“Sure is!” the tech said.

We are really excited to stay “Joseph, Holly and the girls.” We were having a hard time with a name but think we have settled on something. The only issue is the name we picked is a name of many nicknames. Joseph is settled on using the later part of the name and I like a different form. I won’t share as I am sure we will change our minds. But, it has been over a week and I’ve started calling her by name when speaking with my husband. So, if her name is to be something else, it better strike us soon.

***

Picture Thoughts

I turned 30 over Christmas. Yes, 30. I thought it would be really hard but so far I am doing well. This is what it looks like to be 30 and pregnant with my 3rd daughter - in a bowling alley.

Two of the best blessings in the world on Christmas morning.



Daybook New Year's Eve Edition

Daybook – New Year’s Eve 2009 Edition

Outside My Window ...
The weather is falling into deep winter. The days are short, dark and very cold.

***
I am listening to...
Joseph trying to settle Anna down. She is crying because he just gave her some medicine. Along with the New Year will come a few more teeth for Miss Anna Clare – and she isn’t handling it very well.

***
To Live the Liturgy…
We’re still experiencing Advent in our hearts over here, and we’re ok with that. The journey to God’s will for our family has been revealing itself – slowly.


To be Fit and Happy….
We’re joining the YMCA! I’m really excited about it. The price is steep, but we are using the money we were spending on formula to now pay for the YMCA, so I think it’s a great move for us. I can’t wait to get into the pool, and to give Joseph the time to jump back in himself. A good swim does so much for my hubby.
***
I am thankful for ...
My wonderful family and friends, who have been so supportive this Christmas season as we mourn the loss of our third child to miscarriage. I am also thankful for the gift of Emanuel Elizabeth (our baby) and what the creation on this little soul has already done for our faith and our family. The gift of this baby has been great, and I know more will be revealed to us over time – but for now, we are thankful and heartbroken.

***
From the kitchen ...
Tonight we decided to stay in and just enjoy time at home with each other. I made a few lasagnas to take to my in-laws this weekend and we used the leftover sauce for a spaghetti dinner! Dinner was so nice, and so very messy (Anna is learning to use a fork on her own). We had to move right from the dinner table to the bathtub because the gals were such a mess. Joseph got the video camera out and documented Tessa singing all the Christmas songs she learned this year while Anna shoveled noodles into her mouth, and hair and the floor…..
After baths we decided to make some treats to take along to grandma’s and so the evening was spent making rice crispy treats and cupcakes. Tessa wants to be part of every step of the process of creating and cleaning in the kitchen while Anna will join in and then end up in the corner by herself with a book. I love how these gals are night and day from each other and am so honored to be given their little souls to tend to. I am so thankful that they are so different from each other because I find it helps be grow as a mother. I enjoy letting Anna go off by herself, if that is what she needs, and I enjoy watching Tessa take over the baking projects in the kitchen and wanting to do everything perfectly. I am sure grandma and auntie Karyi will love the treats, even if licked fingers were used in their preparation and they look a little……like a 2 year old was in charge!
***
I am wearing ...
Jeans and my Viterbo University T-shirt. My hair is in a pony tail and I am once again getting the itch to do something that says something other than, “I’m a 12 year old girl" with it. The problem – how do you have a stylish cut and color without having to pay all the money to maintain it?
***
I am creating ...
Writing projects. I experienced the ever feared, ever dreaded computer crash and now am typing away on a brand new laptop! The new purchase has me wanting to be writing, writing, writing. I know the real reason has more to do with me retreating from the world to deal with my miscarriage, but whatever the reason, I am enjoying this time.
***

On my iPod.....
Not a thing. I’m thinking of creating a new work out mix for my time on the elliptical – but we’ll see if I get to it.

***

Towards a real education ...
It is words, words, words over here! Tessa’s vocabulary has exploded and I can’t believe the complex sentences she puts together.

It’s hard to believe that a little more than a month ago, we were becoming very worried about Anna Clare’s speech development. She has grown by leaps and bounds in the past month and now has about 12 words. She is such a blessing to me, and reminds me daily that she is who God made her to be and will get where she’s going in her own good time.

***
Bringing beauty to my home ...
We’re learning to laugh more and yell a bit less around here. It’s been so, so very good!

***
I am reading ...
Over the holiday season I read Gone With the Wind and I loved every 1000 pages of it.
Last night we were blessed by a phone call from a new friend who is in town spending some time with a family we know (pray for a developing relationship!). She had no plans for the night and was wondering if she could come over and babysit our kids! Ummmm…YES! Come on over!

Joseph and I took the time alone together to spend some time at Barnes and Noble and I now have more writing magazines sitting on my desk, waiting for me

I am hoping and praying….
For so many things, the load is a bit heavy – but that is why we hope and pray! At the forefront, in the next couple of weeks we have some follow up appointments to ensure everything associated with Joseph’s surgery this past summer is working as it should. We are praying his body reacted well. Please hold our family in prayer.
***
Around the house ...
There are toys….everywhere! Joseph and I can’t take it anymore and have decided to purge! We just have too much stuff, and it is cluttering up our small living space and our hearts and minds. I want it gone. We are seriously talking about setting a goal of removing one third of the things in this home.

***

One of my favorite things ...
My family. I’ve just been enjoying being the four of us this week - and having our fifth member watching over us. I couldn’t ask for a better family, and pray we can always be as close are we are right at this moment.
***
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
We are heading to Kenosha to celebrate Christmas and the New Year with Joseph’s family in the morning. We are looking forward to our time with them AND they are always so great about letting us get out by ourselves while we are in town. I am planning on taking full advantage of that and think we may try to get out and see the move The Blind Side.
***

Picture Thoughts
Here are some images of a New Year’s Eve family moment in the kitchen. Happy New Year!

We are so happy to be turning the page on this year, and pray we will continue to be blessed in 2010.

My loves in the kitchen

Tessa wants to do things all by herself - and I don't want to stop her, I so enjoy nurturing this part of her.........even if I have a hard time with tons of sprinkles on one side!

I thought I would share an out take from our family Christmas picture photo session. I LOVE this so, so much and hope you enjoy it as well.

Pregnancy Purgatory

Pregnancy Purgatory

I call myself a trained extrovert. I am, by nature, a sensitive and private person. Often when my face laughs and my voice is jubilant and boisterous, my heart cries. I know I’m overly sensitive and this year, I have come to learn that my two greatest gifts, motherhood and the written word, are helping me to deal with my temperament. I actually enjoy the temperament God gave me, although I struggle with people in my life who don’t believe or accept my temperament.

With every temperament comes shortcomings and I am very aware of mine. I greatly enjoy motherhood and want nothing more out of life then to kiss boo boos and share smiles with my girls. However, mommy life has forced me out of my comfort zone in many ways. My greatest struggle has been the hours of this vocation. Being a mommy is a 24 hours a day calling. This is hard for me, because I require alone time, wind down time, reflection time, private time……TIME. I am in need of a lot of time. Processors need time.

When you’re a mommy to young ones, that’s not an option. I’ve tried rationalizing mommy’s needs for space and a few moments without any touching to a two year old, it doesn’t work! So, for me, sacrificing time is my act of love. I must try to let go of the selfish need for self reflection and deep prayer, reading, and thought for the sake of my family. And, that’s ok - or so I’m learning.

I was reminded this week that although my time to reflect and pray has been sacrificed and sparse, this doesn’t mean my gift of intuition has gone absent.

With my previous pregnancies, I was sick as a dog. All day, all night, all nine months – SICK. The whole thing was very hard on me emotionally and to be honest, physically. This pregnancy - - nothing. I feel fine. I eat when I want to eat and aside from feeling tired, I hardly know I’m pregnant.

After explaining away the possibilities and friends and family members telling me I may be feeling ok because this one is a boy, I decided I still didn’t feel right about this and got myself to the doctor.

At seven weeks I had a scan and a four week old baby was found. For four weeks, the development looks good, but that puts my dates off by almost a month. I was given a due date and some simple math showed me that according to this scan, my date of conception was a week after I got a positive pregnancy test. The doctor told me he was 50/50 on if I was just that off on dates and the baby is fine or if the baby stopped growing at 4 and a half weeks and my body has yet to miscarry. The only answer is time. So, I wait two weeks. I wait until I bleed, or I wait for an ultrasound that will either show me a missed miscarriage and the need for some medical intervention, or it will show me a beautiful little heart beating away. So here I sit, in pregnancy purgatory.

In these two weeks of waiting, there are many, many things going on in my life. My husband Joseph and I have a non-refundable vacation booked to Las Vegas to celebrate getting through a very stressful year (yeah, I know- ironic..), I will turn 29, and of course, there is Christmas.

So, here I am, motherhood has once again thrown me into a situation where being an introvert is not an option. In these two weeks I will see many friends and relatives, most of whom have already heard the news of my pregnancy. My first instinct is of course to crawl in a hole and hole and hide out, not speaking to anyone for the next two weeks until I have something to tell people. I’m actually semi-famous for my ability to do this and have often fielded phone calls from friends pleading with me to stop “falling off the face of the earth.” But, this time of year does not allow this type of reaction to life. Once again, motherhood throws me out of my comfort zone and smacks me in the face with all things scary and humbling.

Although it may seem too personal to put on a blog, I’m trying to grow as a person, so bear (and pray) with me. Also, as any introvert can tell you, we have tactics to avoid uncomfortable situations. I’m not so secretly hoping folks will read this and learn of what we are going through, so I can avoid questions about the pregnancy over the holidays.

Joseph and I whole heartedly believe every conceived child has a precious little soul, and that doesn’t change if the child is born into heaven or into our arms. Either way, this baby has been born into our family. For that reason, I welcome talk of the baby from anyone. I’m just hoping to not have to explain my place of unknowing over and over and over again!

I’ve been through my angry stage of yelling and asking God why in the world He would give this family yet another struggle when we have been through so, so very much. I’ve told a few people that I feel like I am constantly playing dodge ball! But, I’ve now moved on and feel quite peaceful. I have no choice. What will be will be, and I have no control over what that is. Once you realize you have no control, it is actually a really freeing and liberating thing, and I feel blessed to experience it. Plus, I follow in the footsteps of great women who have waited on the fate of their baby. It truly is advent in our hearts!

Merry Christmas, and please pray we are able to enjoy our much needed time together of this “vacation”!

Visiting Santa

Today was the annual Rutchik gals baking and shopping day. It is a wonderful holiday tradition where my in-laws come over and we bake my husband's favorite Christmas treats from when he was young - toffee squares and peanut blossoms. It is such a blessing to share with my children the treats their daddy loved when he was young, and I know it's a special day for my mother-in-law, to make her son's childhood favorites for his children.

After our baking, we head out to the mall where my MIL treats us to lunch in the food court. We shop, and end the day with a visit to Santa. Here is the story of our visit with Santa, in pictures. I know you will enjoy it.


Anna is placed on Santa's lap and has to do what Anna does best, study the situation.

She decides she is ok, maybe, and gives a leery smile.

Momma tries to add Tessa to Santa's lap. Tessa is NOT having this and screaming, "No, Mama! Oh, no mama! Please NOOOOO!" (the poor gal so upset she's shaking)

Mama decides she cannot force her child to sit on the lap on an unknown man, and tries to bride the child by sitting next to Santa while holding the petrified little gal.

Tessa screams bloody murder while Anna studies the situation.

Anna tries to comfort her sister while Tessa screams, "NO SANTA! Santa, NO! Knock it off, Santa!"

Mama decides she needs to remove her shaking and terrified child form the situation.

On the way out, Tessa stops to pick up her free coloring book, turn to Santa, wave and say, "Bye, bye, Santa."

After all, her mother raised her to have manners!

I think we got the PERFECT Santa pictures, it will show me every Christmas who my beautiful girls were the year they were 2 and 1!

Merry Christmas!