Monday, January 25, 2010

Daybook 1/25/10

Outside My Window ...
It’s winter – again/still/always. I’m convinced I suffer from seasonal depression. I’m in serious need of sunlight.

I am listening to...
The ticking of the clock. The gals are asleep, and I should be working.

To Live the Liturgy…
It looks like we may be joining a parish we would have NEVER seen ourselves joining. We’ve been praying about where our family should be, and think we have an unexpected answer.

To be Fit and Happy….
I’ve got my routine at the YMCA down pretty well! 2 miles on the treadmill and then a half mile in the pool. I’m actually really enjoying it, in part because the additional work out time leads to more music listening time – and I love music. My only fear is that the whole process takes about 2 hours. From the time I start packing the gym bag to the time I return home, it’s about 2 hours. The actual workouts themselves don’t take nearly as long, but when you add in the shower and the travel time – I can’t get it below 2 hours and I really, really don’t have 2 hours. Ideas?

I am thankful for ...
Some down time. I don’t actually have anymore time in a day, but I have let to house work go go go go go go! It does really bother me that one could muster together a good size snack from what can be found on the kitchen floor and the gals have taken to finding every shoe in the house and hiding them – but I just can’t keep up. So, I’ve decided to just let it go and trade that time for fun playtime with the girls – something that has been lacking and I have been feeling a lot of guilt over. It’s been so nice to spend some time with them.

From the kitchen ...
We’re waiting on payday over here. So, it has been my job to keep creative in the kitchen as to not spend money on anything other than bread and milk. It’s been kind of fun, but I am starting to dream about a trip to the grocery store and all the wonderful things I would rather be making. Because we have been eating healthier, our grocery bill has gone up – a downfall to this whole fitness thing, and one I don’t know how I’ll maintain without redoing the whole budget.

I am wearing ...
A pro-life T-shirt and cotton capri pants. I should get dressed, really I should. But, I just can’t bring myself to do it when I don’t feel well, and I don’t feel too well.

I am creating ...
Essays, essays, essays. Yup, that’s right, I’m back on a writing kick. I’ve been up until 3 or 4 every night this week – and that’s how I like it.
On my iPod
The only music I have. I lost my I-Tunes account in the death of my old computer. I don’t even know my user name or password for I-Tunes, so I fear everything except for what is on my Shuffle is lost. If anyone knows how to help, please fill be in!
Towards a real education ...
Tessa is working on her colors and Anna Clare is working on using words instead of having an emotional breakdown. Neither one is really going all that well.

As for myself, I’ve been reading a lot of writing craft books.

Bringing beauty to my home ...
We’re still laughing over here. I am so longing for a home of my own. I hate white walls so much and just want to create a space for my family with no restrictions. With rounds of genetic testing and more medical bills piling in, I don’t see the day of homeownership coming anytime – ever. So, I need to learn some new ways to make myself, and my family feel at home. We’ve been here 4 months and Tessa keeps asking to go home. When we’re away and say it’s time to go home, she gets really excited, until we pull in here. Then she starts screaming and crying and saying she wants to go home. I don’t know what to tell her. I wonder how long this will last.

I am reading ...
A few books of essays and The Hour I First Believed.

I am hoping and praying….
For the genetic tests we’ve got sent off. We should hear at any time now and if we don’t hear anything today, Joseph will call in the morning. It could go so many ways, and cost sooo very much. I’m praying for simple answers on both fronts.

Around the house ...
A writing space for me has been created! I’m so happy. Space is limited, so a nock of my own feels like heaven!
One of my favorite things ...
Giggles. We have lots of giggles around here these days. Tessa and Anna are really learning to play well together. Even when they fight, Joseph and I have to hide our laughter because it is too, too cute.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
Work. Joseph and I both have so much work to do this week. We are tag teaming everything from who is in charge of the girls to who gets to be sleeping. I’m really stressed and so is he. But, I’m hoping to get away and take the gals to the pool at the YMCA one afternoon this week. They have a slide!
Picture Thoughts

I recently had the misfortune of learning one M&M has 5 calories and so, I’ve been spreading the bad news. It’s all I can do to keep myself from eating them because once you know something is super bad for you = you crave it like CRAZY. And, by using the word “you” I clearly mean “me”! This picture was taken over Christmas, when Joseph and I visited M&M world in Las Vegas – before I knew what I know now. Happy snacking!


Therese said...

That's kind of like when I found out Jelly Belly's were 4 a piece...then you count them...Oh well...good luck with the testing! Praying for you!

Lady Malai said...

Keeping you and your family in my prayers. I wish I was closer so I could help where I could. So glad to hear about your writing!

Lots of love!

Roxane B. Salonen said...

I am sensing new life in you Holly. How exciting. LOVE the colorful M&M picture, and all of your beautiful, honest reflections. Excited to hear more about the essays. I can relate to the late-night writing sessions. I'm trying to shut down by midnight so I can be a proper mother in the morning. 1 to 1:30 seems pretty normal. I remember 2 and 3 o'clock while writing my book. There may be more of those in the future, once I get rolling with the next one. Blessings, Holly!

Kelley said...

So good to get a few lines from you! And it's nice to hear you sounding better; I hope that you're getting there!

Gyms are SO hard. I tried taking my son with me when he was little because he was the only kid in the day care that early and I knew the worker. BUT- that wasn't much better- seemed like I'd get called out as soon as I broke a sweat! I'm hoping to be back in a year or so if we're not blessed with any more little ones in the meantime!

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Kelley said...

Hi Miss Holly! I wanted to write about your blog on mine-- is that ok? You've been such an encouragement and such a nice surprise from the blog world.

Angie @ Many Little Blessings said...

I get depressed during the winter too. I don't like the heat of summer, but I love when it stays light until 9 pm (or later). I can just feel how much happier it makes me.

(((HUGS))) to you!

Alice Gunther said...

Praying for you as you await those test results.

(Also joining you in craving m&ms.)