Monday, April 6, 2009

Must One Wander Alone?

“I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud”

William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

These words have sang to my melancholic heart since I was a child! I’ve always felt myself a wanderer; sometimes by chance, but mostly by choice, I’ve been perpetually unsatisfied. I have, and always will be, searching for that deeper meaning in my surroundings and in myself. As a Catholic, I believe that ultimately we find this in Christ. He fills that hole in our hearts, those cracks in our hands.

We’re all searching for something. We all feel unfulfilled, misunderstood and alone at some points throughout our lives. J.R.R. Tolkien says, “Not all those who wander are lost.” Being lost is not always so bad. I’m known to get lost in a book, in the laziness of an afternoon and my personal favorite, lost in love. To wander is to know there is something more, to have hope in finding something we feel we’re missing. To wander is to be in the pursuit of faith.

For now I wander, twisted with worry. I feel as if I’m living my life in the “margin” of so many things. However, I do believe I will witness the dance of the daffodils. So, I will wonder and pray. Won’t you pray with me? Are you lost? Do you know you’re not alone?

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