Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Thumps & Bumps in the Middle of the Night

Thumps & Bumps in the Middle of the Night.

Anna, our four-month-old, seems adamantly apposed to sleeping, or being quite, at night—ok, EVER! Like her mama, she’s a night owl. The crying has been more than my husband and I can handle at times. It’s by God’s grace we haven’t hit these moments of frustration and despair at the same time. I guess this is the purpose of a marriage, to lead each other in holiness—even if that means once and a while one spouse must pull the other along, kicking and screaming.

Tessa, on the other had, has been a sleeper from day one. I fondly recall the day after she was born. At one point during that day, I had eleven visitors in my hospital room. They stayed for five hours. She was passed from person to person. As we all tried our hand at waking her to eat, one person after another told us there was no way “this will last.” Well, it did last, she was sleeping through the night at six weeks and we’ve never looked back—until this week.

Sometimes, when one is well behaved, they get overlooked. Currently this is a problem in our home. Now, something tells me with the sass Miss Tessa has—this may be the one and only time she is on this end of a story-but here we are non the less! We moved our wonderful sleeper to a big girl bed last month. We had high hopes Anna would soon be moving to the crib. We made a family trip out of it and came home with a bed rail, purple sheets and a Dora bedspread. We kept Tessa up until midnight and put her in her new bed, too dog-tired to care where she was. From that night on, she has slept in her bed, naps and all- until last night.

It was 1am and I was still awake. It would make me a better mom if I was up with Anna, or I was praying or paying the bills. But, I was up, watching shows on the DVR and enjoying some much needed alone time, at the cost of some much needed sleep. I heard the thump, the scream, and then the crying. I don’t remember getting up and running into her bedroom. I will never forget finding her there, on the floor, half under the bed.

Now, I know children fall and bumps and bruises are to be expected. I assure you I’m not one of those mothers who is a nervous Nelly and who flips out every time a little one takes a tumble. No, that’s not the type of mommy I am. I don’t even have that option, as we are a clumsy bunch over here. That being said, I will never forget the look on my daughter’s face that night. She was so scared and confused. When she heard me running into her room, she looked up at me with her gigantic eyes and I swear those eyes were blaming me for their tears. It was, by far, one of my worst moments as a mother.

I always seem to learn my lessons in the middle of the night. This mostly because I can’t sleep until I have analyzed and reflected on every waking moment of my life. But, this night I learned a late night lesson from my darling daughter. She’s too little for a big girl bed. Just because she’s a big sister, doesn’t mean she’s a big girl. I was so sad when I took her out of her crib and put her into her big girl bed. I was so sad about ME not being ready- I didn’t realized SHE wasn’t ready. I put her back into her crib( after Joseph was assured she did not have a brain bleedJ He worries) as I set her down I thanked God for her guardian angel-and for the gift of a just a few more fleeting moments with my “little girl,” who will stay in the crib a while longer. She's a bit too little for growing pains, and that makes me smile!

1 comment:

Katie said...

Holly, this is AMAZING! First time I've found your blog (didn't know you had started it; just remembered you said you were hoping to), and I am moved. I'm new to blogging and don't know all the cool options out there, but I do know when I've found a blog I want to keep reading. Yours is one that I will happily follow - I have a feeling your bumpy days and nights will help me deal with mine. Love ya!